Dear mummy, it pains me to see you this way. Crying yourself to sleep. From the outside you seem to have a perfectly normal life. You have a loving family, a successful job doing what you love and a great hobby which brings you fulfilment.
But something is missing. It was there 5 years ago and now it’s gone. Friendship. Where have all your non-mummy friends gone, are they lost? Lost in their own lives, bored of yours?
It makes you sad. You try to reach out to them, but like a sickly sweet that’s gone sour, a bitter taste is left in your mouth. Did you scare them away? Did they get tired of you talking about pregnancy and turning into a boring mum? Too much baby spam?
You’re still the person you used to be. You don’t think you have changed…it’s just that your world doesn’t revolve around them…it revolves around me. You feel abandoned, left out, old.
You feel the outside world has moved on and not taken you with them. You’re a prisoner of being a mummy and sticking to routine.
You find solace in forming online friendships through blogging but rarely meet in person. You need face to face contact, someone to share a laugh with. A female to confide in.
You never had a best friend and that makes you sad. It must have been something you did or didn’t do.
When was the last time a mate invited you to the cinema, called or texted to see if you were ok? Invited you on a girlie night out? It’s a sad state of affairs. You miss your old friends. Ex friends.
You wish they would have told you it was over. Like a relationship that has fizzled out…why didn’t they warn you the break-up was going to happen?
It’s hurt you, a lot.
You cry at night….and I can’t help you. But I’m here and that’s all that matters.