Dear Mummy, every year I am subjected to your New Year’s resolutions. In January we all start to eat a bit better, we go on more walks together and try to get to bed earlier. However this year I have decided to make some resolutions of my own.
I hope you like them…
1) I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my toxic bogey.
It’s the main cause of all the family lurgys in our house! Passed on by big wet kisses with snotty noses and wiped on your clothes and skin.
2) I will stop jiggling up and down on your tummy after you’ve eaten and will only do it before dinner!
I might be persuaded to do it while you’re eating dinner too but only on special occasions like Birthdays and at Christmas.
3) I will help to wash my underwear in my potty after I’ve been to the toilet.
I often have little “accidents” so to help with the laundry, after I poo my pants, I will try to clean them for you.
4) I will help to tidy up by eating all the fallen food that drops off my high chair.
It’s like a goldmine under my high chair and I usual find leftover food which I’ve missed or forgotten. I found a green pea the other day…but it was a bit hard to chew. Who needs the bin when you have my mouth?! Saves on Brabantia Bin Bags too – they are so expensive!
5) I will talk to my teddies more.
I feel that I have neglected them recently, only talking to them in the daytime. I will make amends and start talking to them when I go down for a nap and at bedtime.
6) I will NOT take my medicine because it tastes sweet.
I’m not being tricked into that one again. Medicine is supposed to taste nasty, so anything that tastes nice won’t be eaten from a medicine spoon. Are you trying to confuse me?!
7) I will watch more TV. It’s very educational and helps me catch up with the programmes that I have missed.
How am I supposed to keep up with Princess Sofia when you only let me watch one episode a day?! She’s growing up so quickly right before my eyes, every time I see her it’s like she’s changed!
8) I will eat more nice things like Haribo, popcorn and ice cream. Eat less junk like vegetables, fruit and stew.
We need to mix it up in this household, not reduce our intake. Food is joy, joy is life…pass me the Haribo.
9) I promise to stick to these resolutions for more than a week.
Or as long as my attention spans holds…maybe a hour of I’m lucky.
10) I will learn what “resolution” means.
Love Bella x