Dear Mummy, I’ve only been allowed to pop in and see you a couple of times since you were admitted to Basingstoke hospital a couple of weeks ago. But every time I’ve been up to your ward I’m amazed by the different characters there are living there. It’s really like being in your own soap opera! Here’s a list of the people we’ve met…
1. The Attention Seeker
You know the one, she’s the patient that’s a hypochondriac, she’s a compulsive worrier and a defeatist. Not only does she monopolises the nurses time but she relays the same story of her condition to anyone that catches her eye. You can’t escape her, especially if she’s in the bed next to you. All you can do is put your ear plugs in, as she racks up hospital credits (£5 a day) calling her family and friends to tell them, and the rest of the ward, of her woes.
2. The Resident
A sweet old lady that’s been on the ward for months, all the staff and patients know her and respect her. She gets special privileges, like long walks off the ward, afternoon tea that the nurses bring in for her and 1-2-1 care. But you can’t begrudge her because she’s so lovely and friendly. She never talks about herself and is the complete opposite of The Attention Seeker.
3. The Stern Matron
This nurse scares you, she doesn’t beat around the bush. Stern in her mannerisms and she holds the key to the drugs locker. Don’t cross her EVER, she holds the papers to your release. Clearly someone that gets things done! Just wish she was a Doctor sometimes.
4. The Friendly Night Nurse
He’s the softly spoken nurse, that even when he’s up against the most angry of patients remains calm and collected. Nothing is too much trouble for this guy and he often gets overlooked by his colleagues. He’s genuine and caring.
5. The Bumbling Doctors
Walking around with their white shirts and chinos, they are the brown shoe brigade, fresh out of med school, constantly staring at screens and clipboards. They talk at you and their eyes never focus on yours. Always looking wary and on edge they spurt long complicated sentences and you can never pin them down. You spend the majority of your time waiting for these guys and like buses, they all come at once with an air of authority.
6. The Reclusive
My mummy is guilty of this trait, she’s the Winona Ryder (Girl, Interrupted), the girl who stares out of the window, not really wanting to be sociable with the other patients. She’s got her head stuck in a book or pretending to sleep just to get through day. She’s resentful of the zero privacy on the ward, with beds stacked up next to each other and daily fights with nurses to keep her curtains closed.
7. The ‘Big Sister’ Nurse
She’s the over friendly nurse that’s not scared to pull you to the side and ask if you are ok. She relates as best she knows how, with a sympathetic ear. She’s also the nurse that helps you through the whole ordeal of being on ward.
8. The Housekeeper
He’s a regimented colonel of meal times, his only concern is making sure patients are fed and on time. Even interrupting the most sensitive of conversations to make sure you’ve ordered you breakfast for the follow day. This guy is on a mission. He’s also the man you go to if you need help with I.T or you want something non-legit brought onto the ward. He’s like a cross between a prison guard and a mafia boss and know EVERYONES secrets.
9. The Boy Racers
We only see these guys late at night pushing beds and wheelchairs around empty corridors. Like something out of Top Gear, when people aren’t looking they race around the hospital wheeling sleeping patients to X-ray departments and theatre. Their headphones in and radios on, they know all the short cuts that lead into the bowels of the building.
10. The Button Pusher
The most resented of all the characters is a repeat offender. He’s the emergency button pusher. The guy that pushes it every 20 minutes tearing people from their sleep during the night. Reasons range from the most simple cushion adjustment to the more complex top up of water. Why he can’t stack up a list of requests and do it all in one hit – we don’t know. Maybe he just enjoys seeing the nurses run to his aid!
Its been a rollercoaster of a stay in hospital and my mummy has found it extremely frustrating being institutionalised. She got anxious being wheeled down to Costa (and normality) and got so upset that she had to turn back to the ward. She’s had a chest drain attached to her ribcage now for 10 days and just wants to be released. She’s lost track of the days, time and seasons. Living in a ward society is horrible, worse than prison she imagines, as she has no freedom or control over when she sleeps, eats or leaves the ward.
Lets pray for her release soon!
Love Bella x
dearmummyblog.com 
aha love this post but I really do hate hospitals
I’ve not had to stay on a ward before but can’t imagine it’s any fun with all these different characters around x
So sorry to hear your Mummy is in hospital, it is certainly a place full of many characters, and although your visits have only been a few I bet you really cheer your Mummy up. I hope she is back home with you soon, where you can take charge and look after her x
Oh no! Poor Mummy send her all my love, I really hope that she feels better soon and that you are taking good care of her. Kisses xx
Oh, Bella, I’m so sorry to hear your Mummy is in hospital! I’m sure you must miss her terribly and only being able to see her a few times in the last few weeks must be difficult. I’ll be praying for your Mummy to get well soon and be reunited with you xx
I enjoyed reading this post. If i was in hospital i would definitaly be the recluse
Oh gosh it sounds as though you’re having quite the ordeal. I’m not surprised you felt anxious leaving the ward after being cooped up. A little trip to Costa may do you some good. I hope you’re better soon xxx
Oh lovey. I’m so so sorry you’re still in. Poor poor you. No wonder you’re going a bit crazy, (or mummy is rather!), it would be my worst nightmare so I’m sending you buckets of sympathy. Get well soon. 💗
I am keeping everything crossed that things look up and you get out of the hospital soon x
Like your perception on the hospital ward, so true, so many personalities, the hypochondriacs always make me laugh, I don’t know why I find it comical but I do. I never did like being in the hospital, I always call them sleep robbers and feel like i’d heal better at home sometimes where I can actually sleep 🙂
I hope you can get out of hospital soon. Sending you love and wishes for a speedy recovery! xx
Loved reading this post as it’s so true! I hope your mum gets well soon, fingers crossed! x
haha this so true. When I had a bad case of kidney infection they put me on a ward where I was the youngest person there. I had one lady moaning all day long and snoring all through the night. I BEGGED my doctor to discharge me.
I hope your mum get well soon. xx
I hope your mum can come home soon! Hospitals can be very noisy but also the most friendly places too
These are so so true! Hope you’re mummy is better soon and out of hospital.
Oh Bella, I hope your mummy is better soon. My mum stays in hospital a lot and she doesn’t enjoy it, I can also tell you these people are on every ward you ever go to! x
I have never spent any amount of time in hospital, I am thankful, but I suspect it would annoy me x
Oh hun I hope Mummy gets out of hospital very soon, I cant imagine how it has been for you all
Hope you feel better soon. I think I experienced all of these when I was on the maternity ward.
Really hoping you feel better soon, I hate hospitals too.
Visiting friends, family members or relatives or even colleagues in the hospital is the least that I want as a way of catching up. I don’t want people being confined, it makes me sad. Reading this types of people in ward is not so visible to me. I guess next time I will be more observant.
Really hope you get well soon and you can leave to go home!! Sounds like you’re having a very trying stay!
Oh dear, hope you don’t need to become the resident too. I have seen quite a few of those traits when I have visited hospitals.
Haha these are so true!
I hope you are released from hospital soon 🙂
Dani x
Awww I hope everything is straightened out very soon! Sending thoughts and prays to the entire family!
Bless you, sending so much love. Hospital stays are horrid. I hope mummy is feeling better soon. #TheList
I hope Mummy gets to go home very very soon! I can really identify with lots of these characters. My daughter was prem and the kind nurses let my husband and I move into the labour ward for the first week-I think I encountered (and became) most of these #thelistlinky
This is all so true!! Especially the scary matron and the friendly night nurse! Love it!!
Oh I’m so sorry to hear about your Mummy. She looks lovely and as cheerful as can be expected. I wouldn’t blame her for being the Attention Seeker or the Button Pusher. Lord help the other ward residents if they had me to share with! I wish her better very very very very very very very very soon. x jo #TheListLinky
I’m sorry you’re Mom is in the hospital. I hope she gets better soon. I can definitely attest to these types of people being in hospitals- The stern nurse always terrifies me the most.
Arg ward stays are the worst! I hope you aren’t there too long – love your humorous take on it all though!
I’ve definitely had experience of all of these. I hope your mummy gets better and is released soon x
#TheListLinky
Sorry to hear your muumy is in hospital, I hope she gets out real soon. xx
#TheListLinky
So sorry to hear you’ve been in hospital. It’s horrible experience. I really hope you’re now on the mend
I hope you’re feeling a bit better. I’ve met all these types. I’d be the grumpy one and the one asking for second cups of tea constantly. #bloggerclubUK
Oh no I’m sorry to see that you are in hospital, I hope everything is ok and you are home soon. When I was in hospital a few years ago I had all these people on my ward too and I felt just like you. I hope its over soon x #bloggerclubuk
Oh no I hope you get better and released soon – can’t believe you’re still blogging! #thelistlinky
My grandmother was in hospital on and off (mainly on) for nearly a year before she died last year and I can totally relate to this post. Even as a visitor I encountered all of those characters over that time! Hope you feel better soon
Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂
Debbie
Thanks Hun. You meet all different kinds of people in a hospital, all with different stories to tell. Sorry for your loss Debbie x
This was a fun read. Thanks for posting 😊.