My mummy doesn’t drink wine…is there something wrong with her?

My mummy doesn't drink

My mummy doesn’t drink wine….is there something wrong with her? Not a day goes by without my mummy’s Facebook feed filling with memes and doodles relating to parenting. Mums drinking wine as a coping mechanism or a fun activity to … Continue reading

10 Things I Love / Hate

10 things I love and hate by a toddler

The Love/Hate Blogger Challenge I was nominated for the Love/Hate Blogger challenge by the lovely parenting blog Mudpie Fridays. The challenge is to simple – write 10 things you love and 10 things you hate. Here are mine from the … Continue reading

How NOT to become a blogging monster

How NOT to become a blogging monster!

Blogging monster

Dear mummy, last week I posted a list of reasons why I think you might be turning into a blogging monster.

This week’s post is about helping you out of the blogging hole you’ve got yourself into. I’m giving you some pointers on how NOT to become a blogging monster mummy!!

Yes you have ambition, I get that mummy. But this constant striving to be the best at everything that you do must get you down.

I’m not saying have low expectations just don’t measure yourself on very successful professional bloggers!

A) you don’t have the time to be like them and B) this is a hobby that you enjoy. Not a business, not your livelihood.

So here’s my ten tips to STOP yourself turning into a blogging monster:

1) Stick to you guns mummy, you don’t have to be on every social media channel. Don’t spreads yourself too thinly. We’re not on Instagram you see…so what.

2) Take time out. For at least one day during the week don’t check your phone or computer.

3) Turn off notifications after 9pm. Don’t be a slave to notifications!

4) Limit your Twitter and increase your life balance. You don’t need to be online all the time! Leave temptation at the door. Hang your coat up and leave your phone on charge for the evening.

5) Blog for yourself. Do as much or as little as you want to.

6) Don’t compare yourself to other bloggers (they are travelling their own journey) it’s good to be different.

7) Only take your big camera when it’s a very special event – you don’t need it for a trip down the shops!

8) Be supportive of the blogging community. Show this though likes, shares and comments on other people’s blogs.

9) Have fun, when blogging becomes a chore it’s time to cut back or quit. Don’t feel that you have to do everything. When you don’t worry about followers and joining in every single Linky then you won’t feel the pressure to make everyone happy.

10) Don’t forget about family (especially in the evenings) disconnect from you phone and reconnect to daddy. *hubba hubba* 😉

Heed my words of wisdom mummy! I want to see you put this into practice soon….and if you don’t…. I’ll take control of EVERYTHING! Hehehe!

Lots of love Bella (your lifestyle guru and blogging buddy)

The List

A better day

A better day

Dear mummy, today was a better day. For all of us. The sun was shining and you managed to finally get some shut-eye last night. Sleep helps to recharge your batteries, especially when you are feeling low. You feel selfish for sleeping over 12hrs yesterday, leaving childcare duties to Grandma and Daddy, but you were much better for it. Laughing and joking with me today.

You see, since we arrived in Ireland for the Christmas Holidays I haven’t been sleeping. 😦 It could be the change in routine, too much excitement or my final milk teeth coming through…it could be a wonder week as my speech is getting better…it could be anything.

I must admit I’ve had the whole household at their wit’s end! Lack of sleep leads to mutiny within the ranks and discord.

You’ve been low because of it and you hate hearing me cry all night. Big family gatherings are hard, too much pressure for everything to be ‘perfect’. Keeping up with the Jones’ with social media feeds full of gloating families about how wonderful their Christmases have been. PAH! Bah humbug. Real families have real issues.

Anyway, I digress. I saw you kissing Daddy today so I know you still love him, even though he’s still poorly sick. He even made you crack a smile 🙂

It’s all hands on deck to deal with this troublesome toddler (that’s me btw) It’s like a switch went off in my head as soon as we landed in Belfast. One minute I was serene and calm, the next I was transformed into this drooling sugar crazed monster. I can’t help myself, I know you know that.

I must have fallen asleep on your chest tonight as one minute I remember hearing you breathing and feeling you rub my back, the next I’m in this cold unfamiliar cot. It feels strange. I don’t like it.

So, shall I cry out tonight for comfort or just go back to sleep?

Stay tuned

Bella x

Behind closed doors

Behind closed doors

Dear mummy, so it’s got to this.

You are staring at your hand filled with sleeping pills. This has been the hardest post to write, you see this blog was only ever supposed to be recording the happy times.

Unfortunately recently we’ve only had the bad. Illness, no sleep, relationship problems. You’ve done quite well shielding me from how you feel though. With a family history of mental health issues ranging from Alcoholism, which lead to your father’s death at 52, to eating disorders and depression. It’s about time something was going to happen to you.

At Christmas it’s always worse. Trying to keep everyone happy, putting a fake smile on, telling yourself that you are happy. Some days you are. Some days you are not.

So, here you are. Sleeping pills & pain killers or writing this post to get it off your chest. People sing about contemplating suicide, but until you actually feel like you can do it, do you fully emerge yourself in the task of planning it. Fantasising on ways that you could end it all. Hanging on window blind cords, driving your car into a brick wall or inching slowly off the motorway. Taking drugs mixed with sleeping pills and going to the kitchen drawer downstairs and grabbing a knife. You’ve thought about stabbing yourself in the stomach a lot, you don’t think you could cut your wrists.

Sleep deprivation and lack of self-esteem has led to this post. You hate yourself and feel others are mocking you and bitching about you behind your back. You feel you aren’t good enough to be a mum, by feeling constantly judged by others. You aren’t good enough to blog because you can’t spell or use grammar correctly. You’ve failed at being successful by being a lowly graphic designer. You’re ugly, fat and hate yourself. Daddy doesn’t listen to you or respect advice that you try to give. Always wanting to be in control of everything and you feel like a spare part. Surely no-one would miss you….except me. I’m the reason you are writing this post instead of ending it all. I’m the reason you are doing this blog, I’m the reason why you are trying to live your life. You are doing a shit job at it mummy and screwing it all up.

What to do…?

I don’t know.

Bella.