SE Blog Circle – Bloggers Event

Blogger event

Dear Mummy, last week you visited Pizza Express in Festival Place for the South East Blog Circle Meet-Up. It was an event organised by the lovely Jenny at Ramblings for a Jaffa Cat who also looks after the local bloggers … Continue reading

Pudsey Bear is 30!

Every year my folks reach for the tissues and their wallets to watch the live show of Children in Need on the BBC. It’s a UK charity telethon helping to raise money for children and young people in the UK … Continue reading

Memories from my mummy – July & August 2015

memories-from-my-mummy

Dear mummy, we started this blog as an online diary, a way to record me growing up. So far we have shared our adventures and things we love (or hate) through reviews but we haven’t really captured the ‘little’ moments … Continue reading

Chocolate Picture Maker Review

Chocolate Picture Maker Review

Dear Mummy, you know how much I love chocolate, so imagine my delight when a chocolate kids activity came through the door for us to test!It’s a Chocolate Picture Maker from Zimpli Kids which allows anyone to create their ownย personalisedย 100% … Continue reading

My mummy’s birthday week

Four Seasons Hampshire Review

Dear Mummy, woweee! You’ve had a whirlwind of a birthday week! You celebrated your 35th birthday this year and booked some time off work to go and treat yourself to some ‘me’ time, which I think is really important for … Continue reading

Memories from my mummy – June 2015

memories-from-my-mummy

Dear mummy, we started this blog as an online diary, a way to record me growing up. So far we have shared our adventures and things we love (or hate) through reviews but we haven’t really captured the ‘little’ moments … Continue reading

The colours of my mummy’s life

My mummy sees things in black and white at the moment with the odd speckles of grey.

Halftone colours on a blank canvas.

We’ve had an interesting start to the year already. Self doubt, sickness, stress and all round ‘meh’.

This new year I want her to see the rainbows in her life. All the colours that life has to offer.

Red, not like anger but family. Blood is thicker than water she needs to make more of an effort with her family.

Orange, like the ones I eat, the little segments each representing an aspect of her life. Husband, me, work, routine, personal time, hobbies, sleep. All parts of the orange together makes her whole.

Yellow, not just sickness (like the colour of my nappies) but the goodness and caring. Having the patience, courage and strength to be a better mum when things get tough.

Stephanie Block Artwork RainbowsGreen, not just jealousy but hope and the realisation that everyone else has their own journey to live. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Blue, not just sadness but new horizons. Blue skies and sunny days are hopefully lying ahead.

Purple, the colour of Cadbury’s chocolate wrappers. In life you can NEVER have too much chocolate! Life is like a box of chocolates as someone famous once said…you never know what you’re gotta get. This new year, don’t limit yourself with things you can’t have. Silly fad diets and restrictions on things that make you happy. Just be happy.

Stephanie Block Artwork StarsWe love this artwork from Stephanie Block, a local artist in Hampshire. We proudly hang it in our house and it serves a gentle reminder to put things into perspective when life gets tough.

Dear mummy, always look for the rainbow after the storm.

Love Bella x

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

Cuddle Fairy

Behind closed doors

Behind closed doors

Dear mummy, so it’s got to this.

You are staring at your hand filled with sleeping pills. This has been the hardest post to write, you see this blog was only ever supposed to be recording the happy times.

Unfortunately recently we’ve only had the bad. Illness, no sleep, relationship problems. You’ve done quite well shielding me from how you feel though. With a family history of mental health issues ranging from Alcoholism, which lead to your father’s death at 52, to eating disorders and depression. It’s about time something was going to happen to you.

At Christmas it’s always worse. Trying to keep everyone happy, putting a fake smile on, telling yourself that you are happy. Some days you are. Some days you are not.

So, here you are. Sleeping pills & pain killers or writing this post to get it off your chest. People sing about contemplating suicide, but until you actually feel like you can do it, do you fully emerge yourself in the task of planning it. Fantasising on ways that you could end it all. Hanging on window blind cords, driving your car into a brick wall or inching slowly off the motorway. Taking drugs mixed with sleeping pills and going to the kitchen drawer downstairs and grabbing a knife. You’ve thought about stabbing yourself in the stomach a lot, you don’t think you could cut your wrists.

Sleep deprivation and lack of self-esteem has led to this post. You hate yourself and feel others are mocking you and bitching about you behind your back. You feel you aren’t good enough to be a mum, by feeling constantly judged by others. You aren’t good enough to blog because you can’t spell or use grammar correctly. You’ve failed at being successful by being a lowly graphic designer. You’re ugly, fat and hate yourself. Daddy doesn’t listen to you or respect advice that you try to give. Always wanting to be in control of everything and you feel like a spare part. Surely no-one would miss you….except me. I’m the reason you are writing this post instead of ending it all. I’m the reason you are doing this blog, I’m the reason why you are trying to live your life. You are doing a shit job at it mummy and screwing it all up.

What to do…?

I don’t know.

Bella.